12 Reasons To Fire Your Web Designer
1. When asked if he knows PHP, the reply is: “I don’t do drugs.”
Although your web designer may not be a programmer himself, he should probably have at least a basic understanding of PHP, HTML, CSS, Javascript, etc. If he has no clue than he better know someone that does.
2. He reassures you that you should register the domain in his name.
For sites of little value this may not matter, however, I would definitely recommend that avoid giving the web designer too much control over domains, hosting etc. If something goes wrong you may be stuck without a website, so may want to request a copy of the databases and files.
3. When you see the picture on his bio, he still has a mullet.
If you judge your web design based on personal appearance you may find yourself discouraged to find one that has showered, combed their hair, or changed their clothes in the last month. But if you find their website still looks like it is from the 1980s then you may want to consider: either they are too busy to update their own site, or you may get stuck with the mullet website. Like the famous saying goes with a mullet it is:
“Business in the front, party in the back”
4. He insists on Flash for seo purposes
Although Google recently announced that they are starting to crawl Flash files, I still am a firm believer that Flash is a bad idea for most circumstances. Now I did not say all circumstances. If you are thinking of looking into a Flash website, it is imperative that you consider the use of the website, and how you plan for people to find the website. Perhaps, you can just incorporate it into the design or at least put a wordpress blog on the site.
5. If He Eerily declares “I am the webmaster”
No one wants to be in a power struggle, if you find that your webmaster is not allowing your input. Let him know. If he won’t change his course, it may be time to find someone else. Bottom line, you are paying the money for a website that is going to reflect you or possibly your business. It is crucial that you are proud of it.
6. You haven’t heard from him in a month
Enough said. The thirty day rule means, “You got screwed, count your loses, download Joomla and do it yourself”
7. Inability to communicate
In all reality, I think great web designers are some of the most patient people on earth. I have seen circumstances where a website was almost done and then the customer said, “We are looking to re-brand!” Wow. What a day that was. It is imperative that for the process to truly work there needs to be incredible communication up front through out the entire process. Know what you want going into it.
8. He insists you wire the entire payment upfront to an offshore account
Watch out for people that want all the money up front and especially by payment forms that are irreversible. Credit cards can be great options because at least you can dispute the charge. I have seen many transactions where people get paid and they are no where to be found. Sometime working with a company that has a strong reputation can be a great option.
9. You are beginning to feel the website has been pirated
Unfortunatley, I had a website built years ago and some months after I purchased my website. I saw another website that looked exactly the same. In fact, I saw hundreds of websites that looked exactly the same. To make matters worse all the content was the same too. It is probably wise to include a copywright clause in the contract.
10. Innapropriate logos, domains, content or images
We have all seen the hilarious pictures, and screw-ups circultate around the internet. You sure do not want that to be your company. Here are some of the most shocking that I have seen:
Domain name word combinations:
Pen Island
-penisland.com
Therapist Finder
-therapistfinder.com
11. Security Breach
You find your dedicated server has been compromised to SPAM, phish, hack, crack or whatever.
12. You find out its his first time
No one wants to be the guinea pig. So if you approach your webmaster with a concern and he states, “How should I know? It’s not like I have done this before.” Then, my friend, it is time to move on or your website may end up looking like this: http://havenworks.com/
In order to avoid repetitive he/shes, his/hers we are going to do it once down here. We know you ladies know how to design websites as well.
July 18th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
[…] Technorati Search for: databases wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt12 Reasons To Fire Your Web Designer July 18th, 2008 1. When asked if he knows PHP, the reply is: “I don’t do drugs.” Although your web designer may not be a programmer himself, he should probably have at least a basic understanding of PHP, HTML, CSS, Javascript, etc. If he has no clue than he better know someone that does. 2. He reassures you that you should register the domain in his name. For sites of little value this may not matter, however, I would definitely recommend that avoid giv […]
July 18th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
I’ll admit - some of these are pretty funny…. though I’m not sure if this is supposed to be funny.
July 18th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
[…] of PHP, HTML, CSS, Javascript, etc. If he has no clue than he better know someone that does. read more | digg […]
July 18th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Havenworks.com is like staring into an abyss of soul-crushing depression. I cried.
July 19th, 2008 at 4:44 am
It’s meant to be funny. There’s experts exchange which bought the domain ExpertSexChange.com they’ve now become experts-exchange.com
July 19th, 2008 at 9:27 am
I love #1, although sadly, my design school shuns any sort of programming. The official stance is that anyone can be taught a language, but only they can get you to learn the theory.
While it may sound great on paper, it sends kids out to internships with no functional knowledge of any coding, nor what can (and more importantly) can’t be done.
July 19th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Why would ANYONE still want a programmer who is proficient in PHP. Surely ASP or better yet ASP.NET !
July 19th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
A customer using the word copywright[sic] or refers to anyone anywhere as a “webmaster” is setting themselves up. Hi, this is earth calling. Earth would like you to begin living in reality, if you’re up for it.
You should rename the article 12 reasons why you don’t have to feel bad about being a cheap jerk when putting a web work request on Craigslist.
Keep judging people on their looks and satirizing geeks as pimply losers cartoons. Oh and blame your web designer for a security breach at your host. Brilliant advice really.
Just throw a Wordpress blog on the site as an SEO solution, or download Joomla and do it yourself. More brilliant advice. When you call me after you’ve accidentally purchased 15 years of hosting at floridiantimeshareindustrywebdomains.com and your website has become a “Phish, hack, crack or whatever” I’ll just charge you more to fix or replace it all. Or hopefully, you’ll go away and open that strip mall pet clothing store you’ve always dreamed of when that web thing with a social, web 2.0, electric shaver blade replacement community you think is oh so perfect didn’t quite work out.
So aim for the mediocre and contact a “webmaster” directly instead of a design agency. Convince yourself that you’re bound to get ripped off, and when you do, your absurd sense of self-entitlement can blame the pimply new generation of kids who are obviously incompetent. Blame them for not communicating when they do all they can to avoid your phone calls when you present the ever so ingenious idea that at least a basic understanding of PHP is a measure of their competence.
It’s just pretty pictures and buttons anyways, right? Why bother spending tens of thousands of dollars for something so obviously easy as downloading Joomla?
Or call an agency that has a portfolio, use cases, and success metrics. Let them hire and deal with the freelancers. The agencies know how to. You so obviously do not. The internets say goodbye and good luck.
July 19th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
We now know who doesn’t know PHP and is in fear of his job :).
Nice list. Though some of the items move away from a “web designer’s” responsibility.
July 19th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
@Peter i surely hoping you’re being sarcastic.
July 19th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
This is stupid. Why would your web designer do stuff like buy domains? And why would the web designer have anything to do with security? And what the heck is number 7? Why is it a good idea to fire the web designer when YOU are the one who wants last minute changes with no prior communcation??
Also - web designer and webmaster are two completely different things.
July 19th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
With stuff like joomla, webdesigners are steadily loosing jobs, since CEO’s think “I don’t need these guys, I have a program that can do it all for me”.
Most employers won’t care one bit if the syntax is W3C compliant, if it works, they’re happy.
July 19th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
“In order to avoid repetitive he/shes, his/hers we are going to do it once down here. We know you ladies know how to design websites as well.”
Ever heard of the word “They”?
July 19th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
In my experience even installing Joomla is over the head of anyone who’s reading this article for information purposes. So I love how it says “Download Joomla and do it yourself” as if it’s just that simple.
July 20th, 2008 at 1:38 am
havenworks.com
what is that and why
July 20th, 2008 at 8:16 am
Reason 13: He uses underlined text where there is no link rather than adding a class with italics or bolding to emphasize the text.
July 20th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
[…] 12 Reasons To Fire Your Web Designer […]
July 21st, 2008 at 12:09 am
The fact that you recommend joomla tell me you know pretty much jack about web design yourself…
July 21st, 2008 at 5:21 pm
I really hope number 1 is a joke or at least said a little bit tongue in cheek! Surely we’re not STILL comparing dick sizes when it comes to PHP versus whatever other technology available. I realise some people can’t accept that there are technologies out there that don’t consist of the letters P and H but come on guys, suggesting that someone who doesn’t have experience of PHP is not worth considering is laughable.
July 22nd, 2008 at 12:14 am
nice articles, thanks for sharing.
July 22nd, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I’m not sure how you interpret “web designer”, it seems like a “web designer” is a graphical designer for you, i’m sure he may be a guru to select fonts but, why would you register domains to his name, or expect to restore databases, even to entitle him as your “webmaster” when toke a class called “color history” in college, instead of hiring a developer, a web developer for this tasks?
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:05 am
#13 They still use font tags.
July 26th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
PHP is still great for those guys on a budget who still need to get some sort of interactivity on their websites. Since some clients have their JavaScript turned off, PHP will guarantee that they see something.
There are not a few web designers who are grand architects and have to shuffle everything from database design to server maintenance to website branding.
Also, when it comes to appearances, people’s perception of you is real to them. If you’ve got a personal site out there and you look like a maverick, that’s how your client will ultimately perceive you. That can make or break a potential deal.
July 29th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
I heard of a company called “PowerGen” that was dividing up their site into various european portals. All was fine until they got to “Italy”. Something about powergenitalia.com that didn’t go over well. Not sure what the problem was, though.
July 29th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Your site- blog.webbizideas.com is cool site, thanks, owner.
July 31st, 2008 at 11:49 pm
There’s a lot of lists on the internet, and a lot of them make no sense whatsoever.
There’s perhaps two valid points on this entire page, so you either just made the rest up or you were met with a “webdesigner” that does it from the house of his parents. And even in the last case, I know a hell of a lot that wouldn’t be that bad.
August 9th, 2008 at 3:55 am
do you know any information about this in other languages?
November 6th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
to move your website…
This blog has been an interesting read. I have bookmarked it and will check back at some point….